Dearest Husband

It is easy to overlook the efforts of a spouse in the whirlwind we call life. Just the other day, after a long stressful weekend, I felt like I slaved the evening away cleaning the house up. Little things that my husband does started to wear on me. Example, my hubs usually takes on the task of child bath time, which I appreciate beyond measure. It gives me a hot second to get a few chores done, attempt to unwind, change out of my work clothes and breathe. Not to mention getting my child in and out of the tub with my expanding midsection is becoming increasingly more difficult. One of my dearest husband’s habits is leaving the diaper in the middle of the bathroom floor despite there being a trash can right next to the toilet. (*face palm*) After just cleaning the bathroom and picking up toys, imagine my slight annoyance to find him giving my son a bath with a diaper in the middle of the floor. My husband also leaves towels from bath time to pile up in my sons room after the fact. Well needless to say, Mama-me was a tad frustrated and my husband could tell.

The bad part is, after pointing out these “faults” or “flaws,” it may appear that I only notice the “bad” or the “negative” without recognizing or acknowledging all of the good.

In fact, yesterday, my husband picked our son up from his parents. I LOVE when he does pick up. It gets me time to get home, feed the dogs, get a few chores done, start dinner, all before the family returns home. It is glorious. I rushed home after a full days work, fed the dogs, did a load of laundry, emptied the dishwasher, wiped counters, started dinner, set the coffee pot for the next day, all before my husband and little boy walked in the door. I was so excited about all I accomplished, I promptly told my husband about it. I wasn’t looking for praise, but I truly felt good that I managed to keep our house tidy through Tuesday! A feat in and of itself! After both of my boys had dinner, I was starting to “space” out as exhaustion kicked in. I must have been looking at my husband weird (unknowingly) because as he placed his dish in the newly emptied dishwasher he said “are you making sure I don’t put this dirty dish in the sink?” I wasn’t, but the way he said it, made me realize I had been picking out a lot of the “bad” habits or pet peeves lately without giving credit for all the amazing things he does too.

I try my very best to remind myself to express to my husband how much I appreciate all of his efforts. He works hard to provide an income, and despite me being a lawyer, he is most certainly the breadwinner, three times over in fact. My husband also works hard to keep our house looking nice. He will cut the grass (and will even let me do it every now and again when he knows I need a few minutes to myself), spend hours weeding, he just built a beautiful deck, helps me move furniture from one room to another (without complaints most of the time), and picks up after the dogs so the kids don’t play in piles of poop. It isn’t a glamorous job, but he does it. He does it will a smile on his face even after working a long day. I often forget to thank him and he passes it off as “part of life” or “part of his job description.” It is so easy to write it off as part of life. In fact, he may even think that at times I don’t notice. But I do notice.

I watch through the window while washing dishes as our son watches him sweat outside for hours on end. I watch as he teases our son through the window, making funny faces, dancing around, or playing peek-a-boo behind the trees. I watch as my son absolutely adores his hard working father just sitting on the floor eating his snacks like popcorn at a movie theater. And in those moments, I thank the Lord above that our beautiful, wild-at-heart son has such an amazing man to look up to and to strive to be like.

It’s the little things that tend to get swept under the carpet. The times he brings me coffee in the morning, the times he switches the clothes from the washer to the dryer or folds a load of laundry. The times he offers to go to Sam’s club after working out. (On a side note, Sam’s club is a big deal to me. 1. I absolutely hate going there, loathe it. I hate they don’t give you bags, it is just awful! 2. I know no one in their right mind can enjoy it, yet he volunteers EVERY. SINGLE. TIME and I love him for it.) He will make arrangements to skip the gym or take an admin day at work if my schedule requires it. He asks nearly every day once our son is asleep, “babe, is there anything else I can do before I relax a bit?” I appreciate it, I notice it. Every. Single. Time.

So last night, he knew by looking at me that Mama had hit her wall and the bed was calling my name. He said: “go to bed, I will get little man down.” At first I felt that pang of guilt, knowing he worked just as hard as I did that day. He could read the thought on my face and insisted once more. So at just before 8:30, I raced up the stairs, brushed my teeth, changed my clothes, and was practically fast asleep by 8:45. My dearest husband put our child to sleep and even snuck in to kiss me goodnight. He may think I don’t notice. And at times I may forget to acknowledge it. But I notice and I couldn’t do this parenting thing without him and I wouldn’t want to.

So to my loving, wonderful husband: thank you and I love you beyond words.