While writing “Dearest Husband,” I spent a lot of time reflecting on my marriage, my role as a spouse, particularly my flaws and imperfections. Yes, yes, I am not perfect. (Surprise, Surprise!) I make mistakes. I have habits my husband hates. I leave cups upstairs in our bedroom (usually coffee cups half full of coffee, leave make up all over the bathroom counter, pile clothes up on our bedroom chair, steal ALL the blankets, prefer to sleep in freezing temps with the fan on (especially when pregnant), I have mood swings, I over-season my food, and I do not function well on little sleep.
After writing “Dearest husband,” I knew that in order to be relatable (and truthful), I had to be REAL. 100% no B.S. REAL. Everything in “Dearest husband” is real, it’s true, it’s my heart on paper. I know I am fortunate to have a strong partnership. I feel blessed beyond measure. The Lord has truly blessed me. I have a house, a car, a job, a marriage, a husband, a child with another on the way. However, despite all the mushy-gushy goodness, it is unrealistic to make life seem like it’s a bunch of rainbows, butterflies, unicorns, full of nothing but joy and happiness. The point of this blog is share to my experiences, the good, the bad, the ugly, and the in between. So much we see today is under the guise of social media. People only share or give us a glimpse into the happiest moments making others falsely believe that the lives of the people depicted on social media are utter perfection. While it is so easy to gush about the best of times, it is hard and embarrassing to share worst of times.
So after I cried tears of joy writing a tribute to my wonderful husband, I realized that I had a lot more to say when it comes to beign Married with Kids. (Do I ever shut up or run out of things to say? No, just ask my husband). I decided I would share our journey from marriage to children in a four part series. In full disclosure, I have a GREAT marriage. But just like most, my husband and I have had hardship, loss, grief, anger, and a mix of all of the above.
We fight. I mean we have had some real blow-ups. We have said hurtful things. We have said vengeful things. We have been spiteful. We. We have even gone to bed angry. Like parenthood, marriage is hard. Real hard. Anyone who tells you differently is a liar. Yes, in my case, the good heavily outweighs the bad, but the bad is still there even if just occasionally. The tough times still hit us. For us, when we had our son, we navigated the journey and we evolved from husband and wife to mom and dad stronger and happier than ever. But it was a process. It was a journey. It was hard. It was exhausting emotionally and physically.
My hope is that in an effort to share the hard times, I can shed light on to the common obstacles my marriage faced when planning for, expecting, and welcoming our first child. I hope that along the way I can offer words of wisdom and or encouragement so that others either experiencing this or soon to be experiencing this may be able to learn from us. I am not a marriage expert. I have no psychology background. I am just a girl sharing her experience as a married woman with a growing family. My words of wisdom are just that. If you and your spouse are in need of professional services, please seek those out. Please do not rely on the internet to provide you with the necessary tools. There is no shame in needing spiritual or professional support.
For a continuation of this series, please read: “Married with Kids: Part II- Pre-Baby”
Life of A Mama: Unfiltered 