Stress and Pressure and all the scientific stuff supposedly makes diamonds. It is also how another “precious” gem is made…a creature actually… the MOMster. Yes, the mom version of monster. How is a Momster made and what does she look like?
As you all know, I am expecting another baby. What goes hand in hand with preparing for baby? Nesting. Pretty sure nearly everyone has heard the term “nesting” in regards to a pregnant lady. For those of you who haven’t (WHO ARE YOU?), here is a brief explanation, as defined by me: “A pregnant woman suffering simultaneously from extreme stress and excitement cured only by organizing, reorganizing and cleaning and re-cleaning obsessively for a period of time prior to baby’s arrival which can span days, weeks, or months.”
When I was pregnant with my son, I was working part-time mostly (3/4 time if you want to be technical). I usually had at least two half days or one full day off a week, so it was nice when planning and preparing for baby boy’s arrival (I also did not have any other kids except my fur-children). I could clean at leisure, sew baby boy’s custom crib sheets at leisure, shop for the nursery decorations and other baby essentials, ALL at my leisure. I had all the time in the world it seemed.
Sure, there was stress. I washed and rewashed baby clothes and burp clothes, sanitized and re-sanitized bottles and pacifiers, I checked and double checked all the baby proofing we did, stacked and restacked the diapers, organized and reorganized toys and books. And when baby arrived, preparations were mostly ready (I say mostly because baby boy was a few days early).The house preparations were not something I stressed about. Perhaps I was too overwhelmed with the fear of taking care of a tiny human for the first time in my life to stress out about anything else. I wasn’t stressed about child care, everyone stepped up to help out even when I went back to work.
Now fast forward to baby number 2. I feel more like a baby pro now. I can change a diaper while talking on the phone and handing a kid a bottle all while giving my dogs the death stare that translates that to dinner has to wait a few more minutes. I don’t triple think the temperature of the bath water, I know how to sanitize the sippy cups and I can make a bottle in my sleep. I know what foods are safest for my child and I am more comfortable with allowing him more independent play time. I know the phases and stages and milestones for the first year of life as I, like most parents, obsessed over them. So, the fear of tiny human isn’t at the forefront this time.
SIDE NOTE: My husband is a bit more nervous but only when it comes to the diaper changing portion. I mean, when we had our son, I never thought too much about it, when a diaper needs change you just do it regardless if they have the same “parts” as you do. But whenever I ask my husband if he is getting nervous about baby number 2, his response: “I have come to terms with not sleeping much again, but I am nervous about changing her diaper.” I can understand his apprehension. Changing a girl’s diaper is a tad trickier since there is an increased risk for infection, but watching him so apprehensive about dealing with “lady parts” is just HILARIOUS.
Me on the other hand, I am not stressed about the new baby per se, I am stressed about our house mess. With a toddler you clean the same space forty times a day to no avail. No sooner do you get up the Cheerios from snack time are there remnants of lunch or toys EVERY WHERE and every book off the shelf. Not to mention it takes all day to switch a load of laundry over or empty/load a dishwasher. How on earth will I accomplish any cleaning/de-cluttering/reorganizing projects when a second little human is here? (Translates to, I have to get this mess taken care of BEFORE she arrives).
As I have mentioned previously, I work full time now, and occasionally when required or particularly swamped I will work at home over the weekends. I love my job, it’s a career I have always wanted. It makes housekeeping even harder though. It means those large projects, which would usually take a few days, now takes weeks to accomplish. Factor in grocery shopping, doctor’s appointments for me and my child, vet appointments, trips to the bank, weddings, brithdays and other events, and it’s a JAM PACKED SCHEDULE. Where the hell does cleaning, recleaning, organizing, reorganizing fit…. HOW DOES A NESTING MAMA NEST?
Needless to say, I have been full-on rage momster this week. My poor husband. But knowing this baby will make her appearance in less than 15 weeks has me FREAKING OUT. I have the crib built, and a rocker in the room, I have the dresser drawers but have to wait for someone to help my husband get the dresser upstairs, I still have to clean at least three times and organize it, hang shelves and decorations…LIKE HELLO, I still have curtains to sew and two more spare crib sheets!
I also have the added stress of finding child care; because now with two babies, our oldest will have to go to daycare a few days a week. On top of that, we will need child care for the youngest at least 1 day possibly 2 days a week. (I am so anti-daycare for little wee ones (I blame my job for that, but honestly, no judgment or anything, I am just an overprotective paranoid mama and know full well it is a fact of life and necessary evil with some amazing benefits ie learning, structure, socialization, etc.)). Personally I would prefer not placing my daughter anywhere until she is one. I realize much to my dismay that I will be lucky to not have to place her two days a week until after she’s 6 months old.
BUT WHO wants to recover from a scheduled c-section (most likely the plan here since I had to have one with my son so recently) AND look for a daycare for two, AND clean/complete unfinished projects when you can only afford to take 6 weeks of maternity leave? Answer: NOT A MAMA ON THIS PLANET and certainly not this Mama. So with at most 15 weeks to go, with a full-time busy work schedule jammed packed of hearings to prepare and briefs to write, and three weddings to attend, all while trying to finish up house projects, raise a toddler and run a household, 15 weeks is nothing…it is CLEARLY not enough time to accomplish my insane nesting to do list…
So now you know what a mama who lacks to time to nest appropriately looks like: A slightly more psychotic version of myself aka a Mom-ster.
Say a prayer for my hubby. (LOL).
Life of A Mama: Unfiltered 