The Inevitable Birth Plan Blues

All right, so crazy working pregnant mom life to an insane toddler took over and I fell off the blogging world map. So much has happened, I have a notebook half full of one-to-two line thoughts for stories that I had hoped to share but alas, here we are, with weeks of complete radio silence. But, I have a few minutes to breath and ready to hop back on the blog train with this: The Inevitable Birth Plan Blues.

So I wrote before, many moons ago, about having a birth plan and then having a Plan A-ZZ (yes, double Z) because heavens knows that it will never go as planned. That doesn’t change the fact that most moms are firm on their plan A, and seriously demoralizing and depressing feelings emerge when mama is told that the plan A isn’t an option. The Birth Plan Blues, man, are the pits.

So let me start with telling you about my son’s birth plan. I wanted a med-free natural child birth at the hospital. I wanted the aromatherapy, the hot shower, the push play list, and a husband who would remember all the breathing techniques. Well, at 20 weeks we were told baby was breech. No biggie, he had plenty of time to move. 24 weeks, 28 weeks, 36 weeks….still frank breech. I tried every exercise and technique (ice pack, heating pad) and stretch you could think of. At 38 weeks, doctors evaluated me for a manual version. I wasn’t a candidate. My amniotic fluid was just at the minimum required, he was butt down, butt engaged in the pelvis, it was my first baby, my abdominal wall was firm and strong… so no manual version for me. Our only choice: a scheduled c-section for 39 weeks. I was devastated. (Ask my husband).

So February 12, 2017 was supposed to be THE DAY. I had finally come to terms with it, had everything packed at the back door ready to go when we needed to leave at 4 30 AM. Well the perfectly planned early morning trip for the scheduled C-section on February 12, 2017 did not happen. Little stinker decided he wanted a February 9 birthday instead. It wasn’t a smooth planned birthday. We didn’t arrive at the hospital, casually fill out paperwork and wait for the doctors. We weren’t calm knowing everything was going according to plan. Nope. My mom was 90 minutes away, my husband 120 minutes away…I was home…ALONE and completely in denial that I was in labor. In fact, my mother in law took me to the doctors for my last pre natal appointment where they sent me across the street to the hospital. No bag, no plan, no husband, nothing. Fortunately, my husband rolled in minutes before the first incision, and BAM, we had a baby.

So fast forward to baby #2. I am about 35-36 weeks pregnant with Baby girl. Due between October 28-November 2. Scheduled C-section date of Halloween (yes 6 PM on Halloween). I don’t even have a birth plan. Why bother? I highly HIGHLY doubt I will make it to Halloween, as my son was 10 days early. So I am guessing it’ll be around October 18. My husband will be out of town a few different times this month… I hope he doesn’t miss it but it’s a possibility. I just can’t get myself to make a plan knowing it won’t work out that way. I have this crazy fear that I will go into labor, the doctor will be tied up so they will make me labor a while until BAM, surprise Baby is almost out. I feel so unprepared. Even worse, I am not even sure what to prepare for.

All I know is I am praying my husband is in town so I don’t have to deliver this baby with my mom. I love her to pieces but she makes me more nervous.